I watch O on the baby video monitor.  It’s past 7:30am, but on cloudy rainy days he sleeps a little longer.  He is stirring, but taking his time to wake up.  I’m enjoying my coffee. In peace.  Listening to a bird chirp outside the front window.  I am contemplating the day.  What do I introduce to him today? Will he nap long? Will it be a difficult day like yesterday? He is getting his back molars in, so the teething and drool situation is out of control and kind of throwing me.  He is all out of sorts.  Or is it just him getting older? Becoming coming more of a true toddler?  Yikes.  I’m not ready for that.

He is willful.  I’ve known this about him since before his birth. I could tell in my tummy.  And how true it turned out to be.  And it seems that so far, he is wicked smart.  What a combination.  I am glad he is willful. It will be a good trait later on.  I want him to be a strong individual.  It’s just that now….it’s going to pose some challenges for us.  Add Mommy’s flair for the dramatic and Daddy’s hot temper…..and I foresee bumpy times ahead!  But then, there is always wine to soothe the day’s events, right? Is there enough wine? (Is there EVER enough wine?).

Yesterday O was playing with this grabber thing we have in the kitchen.  He loves it. I call him King Triton when he carries it around.  He was getting frustrated because he was trying to move it in a space that was too small to move it freely in.  He started to whine and fuss.  Then growl and grunt.  I interjected with a “Calm down, O.”  He looked at me, threw the grabber down and screamed a scream I had not ever heard from him.  A primal scream followed by tears of frustration and more screaming.  He had gone from 0-60 in a matter of seconds.  He was officially melting down.  Toddler style.  I was a bit stunned, however foolish that sounds.  He hasn’t been like this.  He’s been pretty easy (for a baby.). Needless to say, nap time followed.  Yes, his being tired and teething was a factor in this outburst, but this was a force within him I had yet to experience.

He is young for this, isn’t he? Don’t they say “Terrible TWOS?” He is just 14 months old! Is this yet another stage he will hit early? Oye.  So what do we do? React? Not react? I can’t see how yelling at him would help. But coddling him after undesirable behavior doesn’t seem good either.  Up till now, we have tried to redirect his attention when he starts going into behavior we aren’t crazy about.  It used to work like a charm.  Now, not so much.

I truly thank God that I am an older Mom as I begin to navigate this part of raising our child.  I have WAY more patience than I ever would have had in my younger days.  I understand that I don’t have all the answers.  However, many of the answers are somewhere etched in my mind after watching the do’s and don’ts of the child rearing of my nieces and nephews.  I have watched my sister-in-law, Sarah, raise three children with the consistency and patience of a saint.  I often refer to my memories of watching her parent when I look for answers.  When she said “If you don’t stop that behavior, we are leaving.” She meant it.  If the behavior persisted, they were gone.  I get it.  You can’t say anything thing you aren’t prepared to make good on.  I recall, “Please and Thank You are the magic words.”  The tune she used to sing it to is stuck in my head, all ready to use on O.  I remember her making her children look her in the eye when she was reprimanding them.  It sticks more.  I found myself doing it yesterday when O kept trying to take an outlet cover off after dinner.  Well, today my sister-in-law has remarkable teenagers who are smart, funny, respectful and kind.  She is my role model for parenting.  There are more, for sure. But  I am grateful I have had a lot of time to watch others, especially her.

So what to do? I find myself taking deep breathes.  I try to understand the child.  I try not to let his frustration become mine.  I know we need to teach him what calm is despite his genetics….no easy task.  But essential.  I recall O’s pediatrician telling me, “He is your whole world.  You just don’t want him know that.”  How true, how true.  Imagine adding narcissist to the list? Not on my watch!  So yes, bumpy times ahead.  But good times, as well, I have no doubt.

Until next time, keep fighting the good fight (I know I will) and remember, behind every great kid is a mom who is sure she is messing it up.  Thanks for reading! Xo