Month: March 2016

Lucky Mommy

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St. Patrick’s day is this week, or as I like to call it, Irish Day.   I call it that for no other reason than my brain can’t seem to remember St. Patrick’s name.  Perhaps I shouldn’t be as lucky as I turned out to be?  But if my research is right, the day isn’t just about the anniversary of the death of a Saint but about celebrating Ireland.  Irish Day will do!

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know I count myself VERY fortunate in pretty much ALL areas of my life.  I use such words as blessed, grateful and lucky with abandon.  I’m like a broken record when it comes to Gratitude.  But when I think about it, being grateful isn’t about having luck.  Yet, I know that I am lucky to be grateful.  Does that make sense?   It’s like the chicken and the egg thing.  Are you grateful because your life is full? Or is your life full because you are grateful?  I hold firm in the belief that our perspective on our lives is everything.  One woman’s bliss is another woman’s nightmare.  And so it goes.

It’s like when you read those affirmations on social media explaining life in 10 words or less.  The secret to having it all is believing that you do.  That one is my favorite.  While I make fun of it being posted all over Pinterest, I actually believe the sentiment wholeheartedly.  Someone might look at my life and think “Oh God! Who would want that?”  But for me? It’s perfection.  It’s funny, because this is coming from a girl who always looked over her shoulder, wondering if the grass was greener somewhere else.  But now, while the reality of my actual lawn is bare patches and grubs, figuratively, it is the lushest lawn in the land.  Instead of looking over my shoulder, these days I gaze in wonder at my amazing husband and our beautiful son and I thank my lucky stars.

I know I have abundance in my life.  And I know I don’t have certain challenges that many people face.  But I certainly have a healthy share of challenges and road blocks in my life.  The point is, everyone has their cross to bear.  We all have something.  Because that is Life.  The good and the bad.  It’s all about how we handle what we are given.  How we react.  In fact,  our reactions are the only things we actually can control in our life.  The choice is ours.  The glass is either half full or half empty.

I have spent my life around enough “half empty” people to know its not a path I’d like to follow.  I prefer to believe my cup runneth over. I choose the wonder of rainbows and the possibility of pots of gold. I prefer to drink in and savor every moment with my husband and son.  My life with them is a happiness I had only heard about until I was fortunate enough to experience it myself.  So am I lucky? Aye…..I believe that I am.  And that makes it so.

Until next time, may the road rise up to meet you, and remember, behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.  Thank you so much for reading! Xo

Where Is My Village?

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We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village.”  In regards to raising a child, it is certainly a true adage. Why then, oh why, do so many of us move away from our “village?”  What is it about American culture that makes us think a job or the price of real estate is more important than familial ties? I’m not saying those things aren’t important, but are they the priority? Really?  There is a type of impetus in the American youth to venture far away.  Cross country to college.  Job searching across the nation.  I’m certainly not judging, because what did I do? I grew up in New Jersey, but bought a home in Florida.  It was before I was married and had O.  My rationale was that I was only 2 hours by plane.  And I certainly did spend quite a lot of time up North with my family.  But I was quite happy with my little life I created there all on my own. But after having O, I acquired a  totally different perspective on things.

If it hadn’t been for my husband, I don’t know that we would have moved back North when we did.  Luckily, he had the wisdom and foresight (and job offer) to see the importance of being close to family and the value of raising O somewhere steeped in history.  We are not in New Jersey near my family, but at least we are a short distance from my husband’s.  And the drive to NJ is about 5 hours, making it do-able.  I am so grateful for being close to his tribe, but I have to tell you, the older I get, the more I miss my side of the family.  I miss the closeness I remember.  I miss my brothers and my parents.  I miss a lot of things that used to be.  I think that might be something that comes with age.

Why don’t families just live all together like they do in some other countries.  In European and South American countries you can have three generations living under the same roof.  Talk about a village! Why is that concept so unacceptable to main stream America these days?  Why are we so eager to be separate?  Do we feel we will lose our independence if we combine our efforts?  It doesn’t have to cramp our style.  Personally I think the pros far out weigh the cons.

My Mother-in-law is selling her house and while she looks for another, she will be staying with us.   I’m actually busting with excitement about it.  How wonderful for little O! How wonderful for all of us!  I would love it if she just decided to stay indefinitely.  Why go buying another house when we have enough room for all of us?  She is worried she will be imposing on us, but nothing could be further from the truth.  But she is still young, vibrant and beautiful.   If my psychic friend is right, she will be meeting someone special this summer.  She obviously wants SOME privacy.  But in truth, nothing would make me happier than having a house full of loved ones.

Perhaps I am an oddball.  So be it.  But what I do know for sure is the number of people who love and watch over my son can never be too many.  It makes me sad that I have a niece and 2 nephews I hardly know.  I have a brother who’s day to day life is more unknown  to me than the life of my new mommy friend I just met.  It’s unsettling.  And it’s all due to distance.  Let’s face it, family takes effort.  And any long distance relationship takes uber effort.  A long distance family relationship where everyone is busy busy?  You’re lucky if you talk twice a year.  It’s really sad.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t be close with family just because you live far from each other.  But effort needs to be given.  And it needs to be reciprocated.  Alternately, you can live in the next town and never see your clan.  Which sadly is the case for many.  It is perplexing to me, but I suppose family stuff can be complicated.  I wonder how many of us, who have moved away from our families, ask ourselves, “Where is my village?”  Where is our support system? Where are the connections to family I want for my child?  Well, I can tell you,  I am grateful for our proximity to our family.  And equally grateful for the effort made by family who remain a daily part of my life despite any distance.  One of the deepest connections I have is with my cousin who lives in NJ.  I guess that proves that your village can span the miles if you want it to.

Until next time, keep fighting the good fight and remember, behind every great kid is a Mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.  Thanks for reading! Xo

 

Parenting and Privacy

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It dawned on me this morning, as I was sitting on the commode, that I will most likely not have any privacy for the next 4-5 years.  Maybe more? Oye.  It was not hard to come to this conclusion.  As I was trying to expedite my morning “ritual,” my son pushes his way into the downstairs powder room, book in hand.  “Hi!” He likes to announce himself as he enters pretty much any room. He is uber curious about anything having to do with the potty, so he is instantly intrigued.  I’m like, “buddy, mommy needs some privacy.”  Of course, this request has no affect on little O.  He is at this point climbing over me to get to the toilet paper. I somehow direct him out and keep the door ajar enough to keep an eye on him.

No sooner than I sigh, he is back.  This time pushing his Thomas the Tank riding toy into the tiny room like a bulldozer.  There is barely enough room for the two of us and the heavy door that swings into the room, let alone a push toy singing songs of Thomas and his friends.  I drop my head into my hands.  This is my life.  My glamorous life.  Pooping in front of my child and Thomas the Tank.  All Aboard!

I share this moment of Too Much Information, because I need to know….it happens to all of us who are home with our children, right?  We ALL don’t have privacy, correct?  I’m sure there are moms and dads who have the means to have an au pair or a nanny to assist….but for the most part, the breech of privacy is universal.  Right? Cause if it isn’t, what am I doing wrong? I can’t seem to justify locking myself into the bathroom for vanity’s sake.  Do you know what kind of havoc could occur in the five or ten minutes I might not have my eye on our little explorer?  It is not a viable option.  I am left to think my only recourse is to grin and bear it.

I can only imagine how our lack of privacy will expand as O gets older.  But the truth of the matter is – I’ll take it.  If it’s part of the deal of getting to raise this little guy, then, by all means, pooping with Thomas and friends is a small price to pay. It just strikes me that we stay-at-home parents really have some odd things that just become our normal.  You just don’t think about it until you are in the moment.  I guess our sense of humor and our incredible love for our child gets us through everything.

Here’s to parenting and a lack of privacy! Cheers! Until next time, keep fighting the good fight and remember behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up! Thanks for reading! Xo