Bottle feeding

Thoughts on the Bottle

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I’ve been thinking a bit about the bottle lately.  It seems like ever since O turned a year old, the pressure to get him off the bottle comes from all directions.  Every parenting article I read tells me it’s time to give it up. Every well meaning relative, every Tom, Dick and Harry (every Tom, Harry or Dick) thinks once a child turns one we should take the bottle out of his hands.  If I was nursing, would there be pressure to get my child off the boob at a year old? I’m interested to know.

Why is it that my baby went from infant to toddler in the span of a day? I mean, I know he’s not an infant anymore, but he hardly qualifies as a little boy yet.  He’s still a baby for goodness sake.  That bottle is a comfort for him before bedtime…and (here it goes) I still give him one early in he morning.  That one is more for me, because O will sleep another two hours if he has a bottle.  That’s time for me to shower, enjoy my coffee, and DO things.  It’s GOLD! And really, I have to change his diaper after he sleeps through the night anyway.  ( God knows, there is no room in it for his morning poop…it MUST be changed!)…so what’s the problem with a bottle and a cuddle?  Is there something wrong with that?

He drinks pretty well with his sippy cup during the day…but only water.  He won’t do “milk” in it at all.  So the only milk he gets is before bed and in the early morning.  So it’s not like I’m giving him too much.  And why is my tone so defensive? Why is it SO important to get my son off the bottle so quickly? Why does society want my baby to grow up so fast? It seems to me that O lets me know when he is ready for things.  I introduce things and in time he takes to them.  I don’t push foods on him, but just keep introducing and re-introducing them.  Sometimes the 7th time is the charm! I am digressing.

The point is, my boy has a lifetime to drink out of cups.  I really don’t believe it is detrimental to him to have a bottle for another year.  Maybe more. I don’t know.  What I do know, is that I am in NO rush to have him do anything un-baby like.  That time will be here before I know it.  I don’t mind keeping him little for as long as I can.  I’m sure someone out there thinks I am holding my child back or being a complete hover mommy.  But the fact is, at least in O’s case, he eventually hits every milestone with joy and gusto….when he’s good and ready.  I’ve learned now, not to stress over it.  He’s gonna do everything he’s “supposed” to in his own time.  Why push?

Well, friends, that’s my two cents for this week 🙂 Until next time, keep fighting the good fight, and remember…behind every great kid, is a mom who is sure she is messing it up.

 

The Best Part of My Day

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As a full time Stay At Home Mom, my days are on a crazy schedule.  Add to it the fact that we are moving house, and it is truly chaotic.  I have all I can do to stay up till 9pm these days.  O goes down at 8pm and, I swear, the bed starts calling my name….”Mary…..Sleeeeep…Sleeeep!”  If I decide to live on the edge and stay up till 9:30 or (Oh My God! ) 10 o’clock,  I pay for it dearly with a tired crabby attitude the next day.  You would think that the best part of my day would be hitting the pillow. But I have to tell you, although it is always welcome, it is not the BEST part of my day.

The BEST part of my day is when I give O his bottle. My husband has dibs on the bedtime feeding for now, so I do either crazy early in the morning when I wake out of my coveted slumber….or before his nap time.    I sit in the rocker in his room and he lays across my lap.  I stroke his hair.  Sometimes his little hand holds my finger.  We look deep into each other’s eyes.  He lets me know he loves me.  And I let him know his love is safe with me and whole heartedly requited.    It is fifteen minutes that feel as if time stands still.  Where my little baby boy communes with me.  Where we connect on a level so instinctual, yet so profound, it knocks my socks off.  I don’t care if I get woken up out of a sound sleep.  I don’t care if I have a “to do” list that is fifty feet long.  I have never known such pure uncomplicated love. And it’s in those 15 minutes (or so) that I savor every part of this incredible gift.

The great thing about this time for me, is that I can’t do anything else while I’m feeding him.  Well, I guess I could.  I could check my email.  I could text on my phone.  I could surf Pinterest.  I could watch TV.  But WHY would I ever do that and MISS this amazing time??? I’d have to be coo coo for cocoa puffs to gip myself out of this slice of heaven.  I suppose I CHOOSE to do nothing else whist feeding him.  I just can’t imagine any other way.  How would I sing him his favorite songs? How would I catch the look in his eyes that lets me know I’m his world (right now)? Nope, I’m gonna take in all this bliss before it’s gone.  And let me tell you, it will be gone and before I know it.  He is already getting less bottles, which means less sweet time for him and I.  I can already see my husband and I duking it out over who gets to give O his bedtime bottle, when that is the last bottle feeding remaining.  I’m not sure how that’s gonna go.  We will have some major negotiations for sure!

Its funny, I worried so much about not being able to breastfeed my little O.  I beat myself up over it and obsessed that I wasn’t going to bond the same way because we wouldn’t have that special closeness.  Well, one year into this motherhood thing and I’m a lot wiser for wear.  I can tell you with all certainty, my little O couldn’t be any more attached to me.  Our bond is true and unbreakable.  The time and attention I have given him and the love he has come to know and rely on,  is the basis for that bond.  I don’t believe it has anything to do with a nipple.  Oh, I’m sure there are thousands of women who would disagree.  Trust me, if I had been able to breastfeed successfully, I’d still be doing it.  Nutrition wise,  I believe it to be the best thing for a baby.  But I don’t believe my not being able to nurse my son hindered our bond in any way.  I wish I would have known that last year.  I would have been a lot easier on myself.

These moments…..these “best parts of the day” are the joys we find in the mundane.  They are the example of power in simplicity.  They are proof that something so small, and so routine can bring such profound happiness.  What’s the best part of your day? I would wager to say it’s something simple.  Something simply wonderful.