With recent events in Paris, Beirut and Africa, not to mention bombs taking down planes and ISIS filling the headlines, it is a fact that the world has become a scary place.  That’s putting it mildly.  It made me think about what we will tell O about the world we brought him into.  Will we shield him? Will we tell him the truth, as tough as it may be? What we tell him and how we tell him things will help shape who he becomes.

I think honesty is the best policy.  But what about omitting information to protect your child? Is that lying? I certainly don’t want him growing up being ignorant of the world and its ways.  But I also don’t want to scare him.  The idea of suicide bombers is hard to swallow for an adult, let alone a child.    So what do we do? I guess it’s a pretty personal decision for parents.  My husband is in favor of honesty all the way….I like to say “gentle honesty.”

I know some people who didn’t tell their children about 9/11.  Or about the Sandy Hook School shootings.  How you keep something like either of those things from your kid is beyond me.  I mean logistically.  The stories were everywhere.  Not just TV.  You’d have to live under a rock not to notice the outpouring of emotion.  And then what happens when the kids whose parents did have a conversation with them, start explaining it to other children? Your child gets the version as understood by little Johnny from down the street.

I guess like everything, we should approach it with thought and balance.  I suppose it isn’t necessary to have a conversation with O about such things until he reaches school age.  Or before, if  he starts inquiring for himself.   And I suppose we should  gently pour the truth out in terms and in quantities appropriate for his age.  But there are certainly things I want him to be afraid of…like  strange men in vans who have puppies and lollipops.   Damn straight.  Stranger Danger is for real and a whole other post…but something to certainly discuss way before school age.

Ugh! The world can be a horrible place with such evil lurking in it.  How do we make him aware of it without making him completely fearful or worse, completely cynical.  The world is filled with such disenchantment.  Such wild disenchantment.  I believe that is a big part of where much evil is born.  So how do we keep his innocence and naïveté while educating him about the world? Seems an impossible task.  Unless the key is to also fill him with hope.  To teach him respect and trust.  To show him the magic that exists in our every day. To let him know that even though bad things can happen, miracles happen, as well.  To fill him with kindness, faith and possibilities, while we balance it all out with doses of some tough realities.

This parenting thing is not for the faint of heart.  I suppose if we let ourselves become consumed with the terrors that exist we would never procreate.  And the evil that exists would win.  I certainly don’t want that kind of world for O.  It is with a heavy heart for this world that I wish you a blessed Thanksgiving.  May you be especially thankful for the loved ones you call Family and may your heart continue to hold hope in it.

Until next time, this emotional mommy is going to have a good cry and say some extra prayers.  And remember, behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.  Thank you so much for reading.  Xo