Month: September 2016

Woof Mommy

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I do not want a dog.  There. I said it.  It is now in black and white.  We will NOT get a dog.  That is my mantra. I am as firm as I can be on the subject. That being said,  I am well aware I am going to be outnumbered when the question actually gets posed.  I am assuming it will be in a few years when O is about 5.  You see, my husband is a true dog person.  He, in full juxtaposition to me, says we WILL get a dog.  He doesn’t say it in a challenging, jerky manner at all.  He says it as a matter of fact, which is worse. Because I have a sneaking feeling,  I will be worn down and will concede to the puppy plea.  To be truthful, my husband has almost already worn me down.  Add my little then 5 year old boy pleading for a puppy to the mix and I am a goner for sure.

I know all reasons why people like to have a dog.  They are fun and sweet and cuddly…blah blah yada yada.  But dogs are also a huge commitment.  They are messy.  Hairy.  Slobbery.  Not to mention destructive at times.  I, on the other hand, am a clean freak.  You could eat off of my floors and I prefer it that way.  A dog ends that immediately.  Everyone I know who has a dog says, “You just have to vacuum a lot.”  Well, I already vacuum a lot.  And one thing I know for sure is that it will most likely be me doing the extra cleaning.

Yet, as much as I fight the notion, I somehow know it is a lost cause.  Because even now on this rainy autumn day, as the raindrops hit the skylight above me, I can envision a sweet golden lab nestled in my lap.  I am realizing quite quickly, that I am my own worst enemy in this situation.  You can’t not want something and want it all at the same time.  Well, you can, but it most always leads to actually getting said something.  Woof.  I am in for it.

My husband says that a family needs to time the procuring of a dog properly. The idea he says, is that you time it so that the dog’s life expectancy coincides with when your child goes off to college…and then you are free.  Ugh.  I don’t know.  All I know for sure is that I don’t want a dog, but I most surely will have one.  Not only will I have one, but I will assuredly clean up after him, walk him, bathe him, and on occasion, even enjoy him.  But above all, I suppose I will welcome him into our family and love him.  And then we will get a weekly cleaning service.

Until next time, keep fighting the good fight, and remember, behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.  Thanks for reading.  Woof! Xo

 

 

Mommy Falling Short

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I know I’m not the only parent who has moments where I feel like I am completely failing my child. Those moments where everything I give seems to be just not quite enough.  I often have this nagging suspicion that I should be doing more. That I should be teaching him more. That I should be exposing him to more. It feels as if every opportunity missed is a failure. Why is that?  I know it is completely silly. I’m not so far gone to believe that this is the absolute reality. The notion that his development is solely based on my interaction with him is completely foolish, I know. Nevertheless, it is very hard to shake the idea that, where it concerns our O, I should be doing more. More. More.

I understand the importance of taking care of myself. I understand the importance of having my own “thing” outside of caring for O. And I do. I pay attention to my husband. I give time to my aging parents.  I take care of our home.  Yes, I am spread thin. But not so thin that I feel like any one area loses out. Except where it concerns O. (Enter nagging feeling) Because the truth of the matter is, that I would do anything and everything for my child and even then it would not seem like it was enough, in my own estimation. I swear, I am not getting all crazy on you. But If I am being totally honest, I can’t escape the feeling of (maybe) coming up short. So a question is….is it my type A personality or do other Moms feel this way?

I am well versed in the phrase, “I am doing the best that I can.” And I am. Aren’t we all? But what happens when your best isn’t cutting it? What happens when you know you should bring your toddler to the park for some outside time, but you really have to take care of some pressing business? Or imagine….you just don’t feel like it? Or what about when you let him watch The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse because you really want to blow dry your hair and put on some makeup to look like some semblance of a lady rather than the gal who cleans the floors? Is that me really doing my best? Or is that just the crap I tell myself to make my selfishness seem more palatable?

There is no shortage of support in this web of deceit. Pretty much everyone is ready to tell you what a great Mom you are. How you are, in fact, “doing the best you can”. We all talk about how hard it is. And it is. We are all very human, as we are compelled to be. I don’t ruminate over this to find a way to be a better mom.  I, like every mom I know, is being the best mom she knows how to be. What I am acknowledging is the layer of guilt that wants to float to the surface every now and then. The guilt that permeates logic and reason. It lingers deep in our consciousness. And even though we are doing everything “right,” it pops up. Ready to take us down.

Now there very well may be some fathers who feel the same way. I’m not sure. I actually didn’t ask my husband. But something tells me that men think differently about parental guilt. I could absolutely be wrong. But for some reason, guilt tends to be a trait overwhelmingly known to females.  I have an amazing dad, but I have a hard time thinking of him laying awake at night wondering if he could have done more to further my development. I know, for a fact,  my Mother (where it concerns her four children) believes she fell short.

So where are we? Well, I’m not sure.  I suppose I will have to squelch the rising guilt when it decides to rear its ugly head.  It really has no place in my everyday life.  None of us have the time for that wasted energy.   I guess I will keep trying, as we all will.  Everyday… to do my best and to make my best better.  The truth is that everyday comes with new challenges. Some days I rise to meet the challenge in front of me and some days I can’t seem to navigate through the unknown without falling on my face a little.  Or a lot.

Until next time, keep fighting the good fight and remember, behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.  Thanks for reading. Xo

 

Sneaky Mommy

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The following nugget I am about to share with you is not one I can claim as my own brainchild.  It is a Pinterest find, but an absolute gem in the picky toddler eating games I am currently eye ball deep in.  If you are in my current predicament, you also have a toddler who refuses to eat many things put in front of him or her.  I could take the path of eat it or go hungry.  He has gone hungry.  And then I thought, why don’t I get creative and,  dare I say, sneaky?  Yes, I decided to trick my son into eating healthy fare.  Thus far,  it seems to be working out deliciously!

Here is one of the super healthy and super sneaky picks! Spinach muffins! I have changed the recipe to suit our tastes, but it is essentially the same.  They are awesome. And they freeze beautifully!

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Serves: 12 muffins

Ingredients
2 cups whole-wheat flour
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup canola oil
3/4 cup almond milk
1 (6 ounce) bag fresh baby spinach
3/4 cup mashed banana (from about 1 to 2 bananas)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350°F and line one 12-cup muffin pans with paper liners.
Whisk together dry ingredients in a large bowl: flours, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Set aside.
In a blender, place oil, milk, and spinach. Blend on high for about 30 seconds or until completely puréed. Add banana and vanilla; blend on low just to mix.
Pour puréed mixture into dry mixture and fold together with a rubber spatula until completely combined.
Fill muffin cups about 3/4 full and bake 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

 

These days, I call most everything cake, apple sauce, yogurt or ice cream.  Yes. I do.  These muffins are now affectionately called “breakfast cake” in our house.  O gobbles them up.  Now you could certainly change out the sugar for apple sauce.  I already reduced the amount of sugar from 3/4 cup to 1/4 cup. The key is to have really over ripe bananas.  There is no denying it is a great way to trick your toddler into eating some very healthy spinach packed “cake.”  Right now, that is what is working for me.  Complete and utter trickery.

Another act of misrepresentation is my veggies and fruit purees I put in re-usable pouches.  The pouches are sold by WeeSprout and are fantastic.  They come in different ounce sizes.  I ordered the medium size of 5 oz…they are perfect.  I steamed a bunch of carrots, spinach, pineapple…..puréed it and added some organic unsweetened Apple sauce.  I do the same with beets, greens, etc.  Any combo of veggies and fruits is spectacular.  My son is none the wiser.  We can add proteins, grains, you name it….and I get to decide the nutrition he gets.  He thinks he is having an apple sauce or yogurt pouch.  He is happy.  And I know he is getting the nutrition he needs.  For now it is a win….I’ll take it. So I can still serve him new things and not worry too much that he doesn’t touch it.  Eventually he will.  My doctor says it can take up to 15 times for a child to try a new food.  (Oye!) So while we navigate that bumpy terrain, I’m sneaking in the vitamins, fats and minerals he needs to develop.  Sneaky Mommy.  :))

Until next time, keep fighting the good fight and remember, behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.  Thanks for reading! Xo

Back 2 School

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As the end of summer approaches and the days become shorter, my Facebook feed is overflowing with posts rejoicing in the fact that children are finally heading back to school.  There seems to be a collective sigh of relief among mothers of school age children, as if the school year couldn’t start soon enough.  As a first time mom of a two year old, I am not there yet.  The back to school fervor is obviously not on my radar.  But it makes me wonder what it’s all about.

I am sure there are mothers out there, who adore having their children home with them for the summer.  I just haven’t caught their posts about it.  Maybe they are too busy making homemade organic Popsicles to spend time on Facebook?   I mean, there are moms who enjoy their summers with their kids at home, right?  When I was growing up, my Mom always looked at Summer as magical.  Didn’t she?  At least she seemed to enjoy it.  Perhaps even loved it.  There is no denying that it was a different time then.  The world was a simpler place just some thirty years ago.  I’d like to hold onto my illusion that my mom actually enjoyed having us out of school for the summer.  When I think about it, most of the neighborhood kids would spend summer days at our house because we had a pool.  My mom would essentially be the den mother to all the kids on our street.  There was never a complaint from the other mothers.  Huh, that’s not surprising.  I think the back to school sigh of relief was around back then as well.  I also surmise that my mother was a rarity among her friends.

The thought of sending my O to school for full seven hour days at the age of five, sends my head into a spin.  And then I hear moms of older children talking about the failing education system and lack of emphasis on the children being active, and it makes me want to homeschool our guy.  I want to take him away to some Nordic country and have him schooled there where they play outside for hours each day.  When did the idea of learning through play become invalid?  Maybe this is why some parents seek out Montessori schools? Maybe regular public schools are mostly a type of glorified government daycare?  They shove them through, make sure they pass a specific state test, and mind them for nine months out of twelve each year. Could that be true?  And if it could be, don’t we want more for our children?  Oye! I’m digressing.

I guess what I want to say is that I can’t imagine a time when I will want to send O away from us for seven hours a day.  I understand the importance of doing so, but I can’t imagine liking it.  But then again, I am a newbie.  You seasoned moms are rolling your eyes at me about now, and that’s ok.  I admit I don’t know what it will be like down the road.  I just know that even now, when the days are tough, I don’t will them to pass any quicker.  Time is going by fast enough, thank you very much.

I say it again and again.  I feel that being an older mother gives me an advantage on contentment.  I am not wishing the time away so that I can get back to my life.  This is my life.  I am living it.  Perhaps it took me living so much of my life to know that this time is the best time.  Every choice and action of my life has led me to this place and time.  And I guess I am wise (and old) enough to be oh so grateful.

Until next time, remember, behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.  Thanks for reading! Xo